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I have put up with it for years but now its really getting to me. It used to be finding the odd porn mag but now we're on the net there's no escaping it. Theres no way I can compete with the models my body is far from perfect. I sometimes think he prefers the porn to having sex with me. Whenever I mention it he says I'm just being a prude. Am I being a prude and should I just keep ignoring his late night activities?

NO your not being a prude. In fact I think you have been remarkably tolerant in putting up with it for so long. If it is really getting to you you should broach the subject with him.Tell him how you really feel. If he has any respect for your feelings he wouldn't do it. The internet has widened access to porn which is really quite worrying. It is degrading to women and no woman should have to be made to feel inadequate because of their husband's weaknesses. Be confident about yourself and make a stand.

Best wishes and let us know how things go.

I agree with Smiler. You shouldn't have to put up with it. Although I must admit that I've been with many men that use porn. But I don't like it

If he had any respect for you he wouldn't do it. End of story. Put your foot down.

I know I feel awful when I see the muscle clad men on the tele. Its no different.

Did you get this one sorted out?

Lots of men use porn it doesn't mean they think any less of you they just have a higher sex drive thats all
Don't feel bad about yourself

I don't think that it has anything to do with a higher sex drive thats no excuse. Its disrespectful to women. He should respect her wishes and not do it.

The guys i have known who have talked about having a 'higher sex' drive have usually just used that as an excuse for being a bit pervy (stroke) creepy and lacking maturity. (and the girls who see that in men not noticing a teenage boy who has yet to grow into the mans body that immaturity is contained in.)

What you do is find some 'porn for girls' e.i muscly guy pics and leave the browser window open for him to find and when he mentions it see if he likes it. hmmm there's a slim chance he might! But...
In any case.. just tell him you are going to have to be enough for him or you can't see a future together. Find someone who you mean the world to instead. That's what everybody deserves.

__________________
34yrs old - 6'2 14st 20% body fat [] Target: 15st 11% Body Fat 300Ib bench press and 5 mile run twice a week by Christmas 2008!

Any advise I give is based purely on my own experience or opinion. It should not be solely relied upon as an authoritative statement of the law or as a source of medical advice. Please seek professional advice if in doubt. If this post has helped please click the +rep button.

I don't think that porn is 'degrading to women' - it used to be, back in the bad old days, but there are a lot of companies that produce porn now that are run by women, and make porn for women.

I would say that it is inconsiderate of him to be careless about it when he knows your feelings on the subject, but it's something that should be talked about. To me it sounds as if, when the subject comes up, you flare up because you're hurt and embarrassed, and he flares up because he's guilty and embarrassed. Sitting down and talking about it will help you both understand each others' point of view, and you could come to a compromise. Try and keep it very neutral - "This is why I don't like it; I feel this way; etc."

I don't think it's fair if you demand he stops looking at porn full stop; equally though, I don't think it's fair for him to leave things lying around or histories uncleared if he knows your feelings on the subject. Just because he watches porn, however, doesn't mean he doesn't love your body shape; although, if you truly feel that it's wrong, then he should be more considerate of your feelings and only look when he knows you're not going to be around.

Have you thought about sharing it with him, or watching some together? Are you uncomfortable with porn full stop, or just the glitzy Los Angeles model-types (who can make anyone feel just a little inferior until you realise that they do nothing /but/ make themselves look pretty - where's the life in that??)? There's a lot to choose from nowadays, partially due to the 'Net, with more normal people and much more loving interaction than "I've come to fix your boiler." Try looking at something more normal when you're alone, and see if you have a more positive reaction to that rather than the Barbie dolls of 'traditional' porn.

As my last note, do you think that he looks at porn excessively? It has been known to turn into something of an addiction, and there are websites that you can go on for help with this if his usage borders on the strange or obsessional.

If you dislike it so much - then I think he's being unfair and disrespectful. At the end of the day - he's getting off on other women!

I would start leaving a few mags of naked men out if I were you....if he doesn't take the hint after that or a serious conversation perhaps you should consider leaving if it makes you so unhappy.

Personally - I have zero tolerance for any pornagraphic material. I've been with my partner for 10years+ and truelly believe he doesn't ever look at porn. I'm sure my feelings on the matter and my predictable reaction have been part of the reason, that and that aree flat is very small and we share the laptop.
IMHO - I find porn seedy and immature - but, different strokes for different folks. All I'm saying is - if your rules are minimal porn - he should respect that or go elsewhere - a choice should be made!

I think demon is making a fair point.

I know couples who watch porn together - one particular friend was very upset when she discovered hubby was watching porn on his own.

Part of it is the adolescent dirty mag phenomena - but part of it can be built into your relationship if you want it to be (and I am in no way saying you should).

Relate have by reputation a great sexual counselling service - it may help to discuss these issues with a disinterested party to see eachothers point of view and move on.