Hi all...

The CAG forum has helped immensely in the past so thought I'd pop on here.

I hope I'm allowed to use this as a sort blog for a hospital visit I've got coming up and which I got really mixed feelings about.

I've had a pain in my ear for several years now and finally got round to going to the doctors. About 4 weeks ago I had an appointment at the ENT dept of hospital for them to check it further. After a hearing test and the doctor checking inside my mouth / throat, he said there was nothing wrong. He thought that my posture (I tend to hunch my shoulders when I'm stressed - which I was then) and my teeth (which I know are in a terrible state - big fear of dentists) were probably the cause.

The he said he wanted to talk to me about an unrelated matter... He had passed a tube with a light (and a camera??) on the end up & thru my left nostril and said he had seen a 'lump' behind the opening where the 2 nostrils join my skull and he wanted me to come in for day surgery to have it looked at.

The upshot of this is that I'm going in on Monday (14th) under a general anas. for them to do their stuff. The nurse who called me last week said they will send 'it' off the histology and I should hear back in 2 - 4 weeks.

So... naturally I have gone in to total panic and wild imagination mode! I've been on the internet almost every day trying to find something, anything, to tell me what 'it' could be. But of course all the sites that come up in the search engines all talk about the dreaded c word.

I'm separated from my husband but he is still my best friend and he has been very reassuring, but the 'it'll be alright' isn't really working for me. He's going to take me in and collect me afterwards, and look after me while I 'recover'. We've got 2 boys, 13 & 15, but I haven't said anything to them about it. They'll realise something is going on when I'm not able to take them to school on Monday, nor pick them up. In some ways I want to tell them, but then I don't want to frighten them unnecessarily. Then, in my dark moments (late at night when the old mind is racing), what if something goes wrong and I haven't said goodbye?! My maternal grandad died when he was 34 of throat cancer - could there be a link? Apart from him I don't recall anyone else with cancer problems. Mum & her family had Huntingdon's Disease but I can't see any link there.

I'm sorry, this is sounding a bit dramatic, I know. I haven't told anyone else cos I know I'll be a wuss (I cry every week at Meerkat Manor!)

Sorry to unburden.. it's helped a bit already.

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