I agree Giz. I saw her last weekend and I'm going for the weekend in a few weeks time
Unfortunately, only her eldest knows that her cancer is terminal. She hasn't told her youngest, something which I'm going to try and rectify when I see her next. IMO the kids need to know to be able to come to terms with it - I'm sure if her youngest knew, he would make her last days ones to remember instead of giving her hell because he's a teenager. Personally, I wouldn't want my kids to find out from a relative after I'd gone - I would want to explain and discuss it with them beforehand but that's just me.
We have discussed it in great depth, face to face and on the 'phone with regard to her illness and the impact it will make when she's gone but I know her very well and I know that death is probably imminent without the chemo but I can't get a straight answer from her. When I go and see her, we are going to share a few glasses of wine and thrash it out - she doesn't know this yet - I will be subtle. I'm going to cook her a nice meal and then have it out with her
I've known her ex since secondary school and tbh, he did improve but IMO he was never good enough for her anyway. He's been crap with the kids since he left her and has since re-married - he sees them occasionally and spends little time with them and when he does, he doesn't spend a lot of time with them and just throws money at them - not my idea of a dad I'm afraid
Yeah, deffo tough times ahead I know Giz - I just wish I was a brave as her. I'm going to try and get her "au fait" with computers though coz I could do with her on IM some nights as I spend so much time online when I'm not doing other stuff. I'm going to write down exactly how to get her on Facebook and looking up stuff on the 'net so that she knows she's not alone.
She told me last time I saw her that the McMillan nurses are so busy that they haven't rung her for about four months - not their fault I know. They were brilliant with her at first and even paid some of her bills. I just wish sometimes that I lived in my home town again because I wouldn't let her have to deal with all the crap - I would do it for her.
She had a very bad time a few weeks ago - she had so much pain in her legs that she couldn't get out of bed and definitely needed a morphine injection. She shouted for her son but as it was 2am in the morning, he didn't hear her. She had forgotten to bring her 'phone into the bedroom so had to crawl out of her bed by her hands to get to the 'phone.
She rang the doctor on call but she didn't come until four hours later, meanwhile my mate laid on the floor in complete agony
When the doctor arrived, my mate gave her hell and asked why she hadn't come sooner to see her as they knew that she is terminally ill. The answer was that the doctor had other patients to see
I can appreciate this but surely the schedule could have been a bit more prioritised. Yes, I could understand to some extent how busy they must be but surely there would be more than one doctor on call and they would have been made aware of the fact that my mate was terminally ill
I am sooooo looking forward to going to see her for the weekend. I just need to show her how to relax and not be up and down all the time - something I am beginning to learn due to my fibromyalgia. Time is so precious especially in her instance. Stuff like cleaning the house is just so not important - making the most of the time you have left is priority