She sounds like a very brave lady, who has been through an awful lot of heartache, both physically and emotionally. Her children must also be very proud of her.

If I was you, I would make the effort to visit sooner rather than later, while she is still quite active.

It maybe she doesn't want people to know her expected life span and just wants them to enjoy what time she has left, as normally as she can, or maybe she needs to talk about it face to face rather than phone etc.

As for the ex - she has probably been better off without him, if someone can leave when things are so difficult and scary, then they aren't worth the effort in the first place.

Tough times ahead Bo - Keep us informed.