I know this isn't eay for you and it's your life and i've never actually met you, BUT I am very, very sad that this attempt might fizzle out. I really hope that you get back on track BO. Maybe you shoiuld try and get Mr. BO to quit with you right away and both encourage each other? It could be the trick that's needed. Just a thought... Anyhow, I hope you make it one way or another!!!